Saturday, September 20, 2008

Yet another year passes




Now that my computer is back from the shop and all the updates have been installed I hope I'll find blogger more user friendly for a mac. Ahhh, today is the two year anniversary of my mom's passing. This year seems tougher than last. Partly because I've had so many damn changes this year. And now that I'm working as a nurse ( mom was a nurse for around 42 years) I feel more connected to the hard work that she did and the love she poured into others. Of course i miss her dearly but I believe strongly she is still with me and especially now, on this date. She was an incredibly strong and independent woman who had a great sense of humor, even in the dimmest times. I think one of her best qualities was giving sound, logical advice. She listened with her heart and soul and you knew she was truly listening, then in ususally one or two sentences she would always steer you in the right direction. I really, really miss that about her. Life is full of so many hard choices and I often wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be. I need to learn how to be still with myself and listen.....

The most incredible thing happened last night at work. Right around midnight my charge nurse came up to me and said "I don't want to freak you out, but I have to send you home." My initial response was that I did something wrong and they were terminating me on the spot. I must of had a strange look on my face because she quickly followed her statement by explaining that we were now overstaffed since we sent a few patients home during the shift, and the hospital doesn't want to pay for extra nurses and apparently my name was the next on the list to be sent home. I couldn't of been happier. It was my third night in a row and I was exhausted, also with today being such an emotional day for me anyway. In some ways I really feel like someone else was pulling some strings for me.. Now I have a few days off and the plan is to drive down to Lake County tomarrow and spend a night in some historic mansion at a place called Wilbur Hot Springs. I hope to soak in the minerals and cleanse, release and purify my inner well being. I believe there is a massage scheduled as well. I believe in nurturing oneself especially during these tough times. You can't keep it all inside. I'm so excited for this trip and when I get back I'll be renewed just in time for the equinox- my favorite feasting time.

Took some funny self portraits last night I had to share- yes I'm in my PJ's, but hell I'm always in them or my scrubs, so that's me..

3 comments:

Traci said...

Thinking of you... and hope you enjoy your cleansing experience at Wilbur Hot Springs! :) *hugs*

Qwaynt Cardigans said...

Loosing a parent is never easy. Do something that you both enjoyed doing toegther. Dedicate the day to your mom. It does get easier as times goes on, but it is never the same without them. Jean R

Kate said...

Wow, that's a lot of belts!

Hope you're doing okay. XOXO from my fur-crew.